first day

of therapeutic suspension from the program.
A lot of things were running through my mind on the way home, especially the flaws of the program that had been eating at me: the unhealthy social atmosphere, the hierarchal and strictly reinforced authority structure, and the patients’ lack of voice.

At the same time, I was remembering all the ways my life and my emotional health had changed for the better. I almost got carried away by pissiness, righteous indignation and all that. But there was this annoyingly reasonable voice in my head that said that being pissy about program flaws (like self-righteously quitting) shouldn’t get in the way of my taking advantage of the good parts of the program. The only person that suffers if I quit out of pride is me.